Average

Dear God (dess) send me the grace of a perfectly average man,

overweight, rather short, fond of cereal and sliced ham.

Send me the confidence of the inadequate and over-valued,

Paid for all of his thirty-nine hours,

Praised for the sixteen hours scraped away at home,

and assumed the next sixteen spent watching the woman work,

On and on, while he watches telly

And she raises the kids.

Send me the honest bewilderment of a man recently divorced,

By the woman, on average, twelve years in, fifty years old and kids still to raise

Can you really be that bad, that useless,

For her to make a rational decision to lose your wage and raise the kids

Alone and poor,

rather than spend the time and emotion on you as well.

Lady, send me the gob-smacking arrogance of the middle aged man,

who sits down at the table and says to the woman on his right,

“Let’s talk about me!”

Autumn Bulbs

So the bulbs have arrived, ordered maybe six to nine months ago, there is absolutely no chance of me remembering what I intended to do with them all.

There are three basic tulip beds:

cold colours (pink, purple, white)

30xTulip Queen of Night 11/12 cm to be split 20:10 between the two main tulip beds, 20xTulip Angel’s Wish elegant whites, 20xTulip Yosemite: pink late bloomers

hot colours (red, orange, yellow)

10xTulip Ballerina 10/11 cm: and elegant orange fluted tulip, 10xTulip Ronaldo 11/12 cm: dark early-ish, 10xTulip Princess Irene: orange red parrot tulip

And then there’s the rest of them.

wild tulips that I usually stick under hedges and into those places difficult to plant including Tulip Bakeri Lilac Wonder, Tulip Clusiana Peppermint Stick which have ended up planted into the gravel on the garage roof

Bulbs for the meadow this year include:

Triteleia Corrina (Brodiaea) Why 50? I can vaguely remember thinking that they’d look good lining the path cut through the meadow along with Allium Cowanii x50 of these smallish alliums for the meadow, to line the path.

Camassia Cusickii x10 for the meadow, to be threaded through the grass in threes and Narcissus Barenwyn 50 very old fashioned, and rather late season daffodils.

Dutch Crocus Jeanne D’ Arc x25 White & lovely, Crocus Etruscus Zwanenburg x25 Bright & purple

But then maybe instead of the meadow, some of the smaller bulbs should make there way to the gravel

Narcissus Tete a Tete Again 50, tiny narcissus

Iris Reticulata Harmony Really 50? Could I not think up a smaller number?

But then there are the alliums that I haven’t really a plan for, other than remembering how lovely they looked in amongst the roses.

Allium White Giant (Stipitatum) just three but maybe these can grow in amongst the meadow rather than roses. Allium Giganteum, again just three so maybe to mix with the white giants. I have three wire cloches that I use to plant into the grass and protect from the squirrels through the Winter, so maybe two alliums in each basket? Possibly with a ring of crocus around the outer edge, maybe even a daffodil or three.

Easy Coffee Bundt 

Sock-It-to-Me Cake 

Time2 hours

This vintage cake recipe is part basic pound cake, part coffee cake but with a crunchy brown sugar-pecan blend is inside the cake — rather than on top — for tidier eating and a better bite. It’s inviting on its own, and perfect for coffee or brunch, or dessert. Make it for a group of people you love, or people you’re just getting to know. They’re going to ask you all about the recipe.

Ingredients

12 to 16 servings

  • 3cups/344 grams cake flour, plus more for coating the pan
  • 1teaspoon baking powder
  • ½teaspoon baking soda
  • 1teaspoon fine sea salt
  • 1cup/100 grams chopped pecans
  • ½cup/110 grams dark brown sugar
  • 2teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 1½cups/340 grams unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 2½cups/525 grams granulated sugar
  • 5large eggs, at room temperature
  • 1tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1cup/250 milliliters sour cream, at room temperature
  • Nonstick cooking spray, for greasing the pan
  • 2cups/184 grams icing sugar, sifted
  • 2teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1½teaspoons milk, plus more as needed

Preparation

  1. Place a rack in the centre of the oven and heat the oven to 350F degrees.
  2. Sift together the cake flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt into a medium bowl.
  3. In a small bowl, toss together the pecans, brown sugar and cinnamon.
  4. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, about 5 minutes, scraping down the sides as needed. Add the granulated sugar and mix until light and fluffy, another 2 minutes, scraping down the sides. Add eggs, one at a time, waiting until each is fully mixed in before adding the next. Add the vanilla extract. Add the flour mixture in 3 batches, alternating with half the sour cream, starting and ending with the flour mixture.
  5. Generously spray a 12-cup Bundt cake pan with nonstick cooking spray and coat lightly with some cake flour, tapping out any excess over the sink.
  6. Scoop half of the cake batter into the prepared pan, smoothing it out, and spread the pecan mixture evenly over the top. Top with the remaining cake batter, spreading it in an even layer, and tap the pan on the counter to release air.
  7. Bake until a skewer inserted in the centre of the cake comes out clean, 50 minutes to 1 hour.
  8. Remove the cake from the oven and let cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Run a butter knife along the edges of the cake to make sure it isn’t sticking to the pan. The cake should naturally start pulling away within a few minutes of being out of the oven. Un-mould onto a rack set over a baking sheet, and let cool to room temperature.
  9. Make the glaze: To a medium bowl, add confectioners’ sugar, vanilla and milk, and stir until smooth. If the glaze is too thick, add more milk. You want it to be thin enough to coat the back of the spoon. Pour over the cooled cake and serve.

Becoming Angry

How much longer must I spend my time

Pretending the man sat next to me is interesting.

How much longer must I spend my time

Looking after someone else, anyone else

children, parents, him.

As the body sags and settles into itself

and the fire inside burns hotter

day by day, year by year, decades pass.

Begrudging every minute,

As I see the same path mapped out for my daughters.

Sing out my soul, let the humble rise up

Now,

Not later, not constantly waiting for changes that never come,

How much longer must we wait for nothing more than our due

Growing old, waiting

For the never-ever promises

Give me my time, my space to be me

not someone’s mother or lover,

Now.

Do not make me wait for something you know will never come

Old women are too often angry women,

fuelled by broken promises and dreams

And the not-apologies of men.

Add Food

Item satsuma:

50 1 satsuma,Satsuma, or

28, 1 fruit, Asda, or

53, 100g Sainsbury, or

Bigger, fatter, juicier?

It’s only a fucking orange, easily peeled.

10 minutes, thinking, considering, counting

Working through the trade-offs.

Item: potato:

265, 1 medium, jacket

92 100g jacket

278, 1 medium, homemade

Oh for fucks sake. Is that with or without butter?

Another five minutes thinking about what it means to be a large potato in a preferably small world

Lose weight they say.

Calories in, calories out.

It’s just will-power, they say.

Looking at you and finding a lack.

As if a worldwide epidemic could be fought patient by patient,

could be reduced to nothing more than positive thinking

and paying attention.

Each pound of fat worth 3500 calories,

almost two days worth of eating, restricted.

Assuming we’re average, which clearly we’re not.

And fat cells never die, did you know?

We add them as we put on weight,

but when we lose they just shrink

like a sponge squeezed free of water.

And they keep sending out these messages to the brain,

Screaming feed me!

Feed me! FEED ME!

What does it mean when it is the fat that is hungry not the person carrying it?

Will power.

An entire industry set up to make us eat,

and once we’re fat our own bodies do their work for them.

Cos the only way to be slim, is to stay slim.

But the bastards tell us all we need is willpower,

The power of an individual person’s mind to defeat an international superpower,

The power of an individual’s will to defeat their own body’s screams,

not once but always.

Each day. Every day.

Will power.

Incel Boy

Learn to ask better questions,

And listen to the answers,

So many answers.

Listen to the stories women tell,

To their needs

Be sufficient.

Move yourself off centre stage,

And let someone else be lead

For once.

Take up a hobby, an interest,

No dragons or dungeons,

Or porn.

Volunteer and be useful,

Old people, sick people,

Find value.

Maybe travel far away

And enjoy an adventure

Solo is okay.

There are worse things

Than to be happily single

So be happy, single.

And maybe move out of your mother’s house,

Shower more often,

Stop killing

Nice chat.

Spring Garden – May

In many ways this is the best of times for my garden. The wisteria must be around fifty years old, planted long before we moved here, and every year puts on an incredible display not just of flowers but the scent. In its third year, the thug clematis Montana is also in full flower, climbing the old depleted rose and just crossing the supports and heading into the wisteria. At some stage soon I’ll have to decide whether or not to try and keep it cut hard back or let it ramble forever.

The clematis has been such a joy, that another has been added to climb the other very elderly, very depleted rose on the next upright post. Those clematis planted in the shady wooded section a year or so ago are still alive, but as you’d expect are a lot more challenged by conditions. Still in a dark dry spot, ‘not dead yet’ can be seen as something of a success. Given my time again, I would not have planted the euphorbia, but put in some Japanese anemones earlier. They run rampant but at least won’t give me latex burns as I pull them up.

The late tulips are looking beautiful with their pink/white/purple shades really standing out against the green. After all of the rain, there’s an awful lot of green. Clearly I should be weeding more or at least some. If nothing else maybe I should make the effort to move the campion and cornflowers from the rose beds to the meadow. Next month the rock roses planted last year should start to flower.

It’s not a bad time to consider what might be good for next year in terms of bulbs ie what has worked and what has not so far.

Add more to naturalise in the meadow – bluebells, dutch crocus, late narcissus (barenwyn) camassia quamash, tulip bakeri

Add to the shade garden and under the garden hedges – small narcissus (tete a tete), bluebells or crocus. Hopefully some foxgloves will start to appear as well.

For plants still to flower, maybe some more alliums would be a good thing tall and interesting in amongst the later taller grass. I do wonder whether eremus, or knipofia would work in a Summer meadow. It’s all rather green at the moment and to be honest though I can see something is growing by its foliage, I’m not really sure what to expect. If I’m lucky, a swathe of ox-eye daisies is about to arrive but they could be anything. I live in hope.

Certainly the early pink roses are just about to flower and light up the garden. The white roses arrive almost an entire month later but do have the benefit of being more disease resistant. If I was a good gardener, no doubt I’d spray for blackspot regularly, but of course I forget. Every time I look at them I’m reminded of my late neighbour who loved her roses so much and was so hugely encouraging when we moved into the house.

The garden has a succession of show-stopping plants, supported ideally by other less showy but more useful ones. Having planted in a number of rejected foxgloves, self-seeded into a friend’s vegetable plot, I’m hoping they’ll settle in and supplement my roses next month. Sadly the snails seem to be eating them faster than they can grow. I know that the RHS has taken snails off the pest list, but really…

Someone must have spent quite a reasonable time and effort getting rid of well-known thugs such as Mexican fleabane, woodruff, hardy geraniums, forget-knots etc since I had to ask friends for cuttings. No doubt I’ll spend the last ten years of my life here trying to get rid of them so the next owner can start the cycle all over again.

The roses always will remind of my neighbour, the fleabane from the friend who taught my girls at Sunday school, the London Pride from my mother-in-law, the foxgloves from one of my best friends. Perhaps the sweetest part of gardening is the collection of plants from friends family and neighbours, the stories and memories they bring to mind.

Wild Meadow Garden – April

Trying to create a wild meadow garden is not a quick project, certainly not as simple as letting your lawn run wild. The benefit to wildlife, especially butterflies is clear from the very first year, but there is still a sad lack of flowers in amongst the grass. I’m not aiming at flowers everywhere, but the nature of wildflowers seems to run to smaller less showy plants.

This is most likely always going to be a Spring/Early Summer garden with a once a year cut in Autumn so it just starts to shine in April. The frustration mainly comes from having wildflowers settle into the garden everywhere but the meadow. Campion loves living under my roses. Violets love the gravel path. Heck, everything loves the damn gravel!

Having said that, a few years in and we’re starting to see some progress, partly thanks to deliberate planting of bulbs and partly due to nature doing its thing.

Last Autumn we deliberately planted three dense splurges of bulbs under cloches as well as spreading out across the wider lawn. As a result, we have three mats of crocus, small tulips, bulb hyacinth and narcissus that were protected (somewhat) from the squirrels that can now start to clump up and colonise. It feels as though planting dense clumps will be more successful in terms of naturalising the grass since I’m loathe to clear the grass with weedkiller for planting and the root mass is so dense. Whilst most of the daffodils in flower beds have gone over, the barenwyn variety planted last year and supposedly closer to the wild version, is only now appearing in the meadow, a slightly darker and drier part of the garden.

Here are some of the wild flowers that can be spotted at the moment …

1. Primrose (Primula Vulgaris)

These are almost impossible to avoid walking along my gravel path, and yet are very shy in our meadow lawn. They can be found, but the dense roots of the grass make it a difficult environment for flowers to break through and the primroses are still struggling. In a real meadow, the animals grazing would have broken up the grass, creating bare spots and breaking through the roots of the sod to make life easier for wildflowers. Still, their pale yellow flowers really stand out against the green so the few we have are lovely. Primroses can appear as early as December all the way through until May, so April is the peak time to see them looking their flashy best.

Primrose wild flower uk

2. Sweet Violet (Viola Odorata)

A culinary favourite due to its sweet taste, this small edible purple flower is often used as decoration on cakes or in salads. Sadly, it’s wonderful taste have caused it’s decline in the UK after being over-picked by foragers. In addition, this wild flower’s delicate scent has led it to being a common ingredient of perfumes, dating back to the Greek and Roman times. In the wild they are mainly found on banks or in meadows, but a keen eye is needed as they grow very low to the ground.

In my garden, yet again they grow very easily in the gravel path (tricky to get rid of to be honest) but spotting them in the meadow lawn is trickier.

Wild Flower Sweet Violet Norfolk

3. Cow Parsley (Anthriscus Sylvestris)

These tall, exuberant wild flowers are everywhere in the UK, and a plant that I don’t really want to see too much of – I’m taking these out of the meadow before they take over. The wide brimmed white clusters of blooms sit atop a long vibrant green stem and are super common at roadsides or garden edges. A distant relative of the carrot, this plant provides food for all kinds of British wildlife. Note: they taste nothing like carrots.

cow parsley uk

4. Bluebells (Hyacinthoids Non-Scripta)

If you haven’t ever seen a bluebell wood in all it’s glory, now is the time to get out there and discover one. With around 50% of the worlds bluebells being found in the UK, we are privileged to be able to see this natural spectacle every year between mid-April and the end of May. The sweet smelling bell-shaped blooms carpet the ground of ancient woodland, making it easy to see why there are so many folklore tales surrounding these wild flowers. Easy to spot due to the bright blue colour, bluebells are often inundated with hungry bees, hoverflies and butterflies which enjoy feasting on the nectar.

I planted bulbs of these wild flowers into the meadow quite deliberately a year or two ago and am waiting for them to clump up and naturalise. If you plan to plant bluebells, make sure you get the UK version rather than Spanish which will overtake the indigenous version. At the moment they’re green shoots scattered through the grass about to flower.

Find a bluebell wood near you by using this fab guide by the Woodland Trust; https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/visiting-woods/things-to-do/woods-through-the-seasons/spring/best-bluebell-woods/bluebell woodland ukBluebell carpet, Norfolkbluebell wild flowerBluebell, also known as cuckoo’s boots

5. Greater Stitchwort (Stellaria Hollostea) 

A delicate and easily overlooked wild flower, this small white bloom provides nectar for not only bees and butterflies, but also moths which rely on this essential food source. They open in April and the flowers turn to seed pods by June, which pop loudly and are a signal of summer – earning it the nickname ‘poppers’. Most commonly found in woodlands and although widespread, this small flower will require a little hunting down.

In the meadow, it’s one of the plants growing underneath the yew hedge.

British wild flower greater stitchwort

Greater Stitchwort – also known as the ‘Star-of-Bethlehem’

6. Wild garlic, Ramsons (Allium Ursinum)

This is currently taking over the woodland part of my garden, a surprise since it’s very shady and very dry. This year, I plan to transfer some of the plants to the meadow to see whether they like the environment.

Wild ramsons produce a tall, straight stalk with a cluster of fluffy white flowers on the top. An almost exotic looking plant with wide green leaves, it is more well known as ‘wild garlic’ and is one of the most popular foods for foragers to pick. When I was growing up, they grew alongside blue bells in the local woods so I’m hopeful that they’ll enjoy the meadow as much as the bluebells seem to enjoy it.

The whole plant from flower to root can be eaten, but if you are simply looking to observe this plant, chances are you’ll smell the garlic wafting through the woods before you see it. Much like bluebells, ramsons can overtake an entire woodland floor.

wild garlic flowers ramsons flowers

Wild Garlic, also known as Bear Leek

7. Ground Ivy (Glechoma Hederacea) 

Growing barely a few centimetres above the ground, and producing only a few tiny lilac blooms that somehow blend into the green of grass, this is a tough wild flower to find. It’s actually a part of the dead nettle family (more on those shortly) but it’s habit of spreading widely has led it to being called ‘ivy’. Interestingly, despite its small stature, this plant kicks out a strong scent, and before hops were discovered it was frequently used in the beer brewing process.

Ground Ivy Flowers

8. Summer Snowflake (Leucojum Aestivum)

Not be confused with the snowdrops which bloom between January and March, these slightly larger, taller  white wild flowers have very rounded bell-shaped blooms with small green dots on the tip of each petal. Does it compare in beauty to the more well know snowdrop? Well, that’s personal opinion.. Spot them on banks and in woodlands, often close to water sources.

I’ve planted some bulbs in a clump in the meadow and also in the woodland to try and see which environment works best for them. Hopefully at least one colony will succeed

summer snowflake wild flower norfolk

9. Forget-me-not (Myosotis)

The tiny bright blue flowers of forget-me-not have to be one of the most loved blooms of all. Although they were originally a wild flower, these minuscule blue beauties are now more commonly found sprawling in gardens, giving rise to arguments as to whether they are indeed still a wild flower or not. They are currently thriving in my flower beds and making a brave attempt to break into the meadow.

forget me not wild flower

10. Common Chickweed (Stellaria Media)

Another minuscule flower that will require a little patience to find, but is nonetheless fairly widespread throughout the UK. It’s mostly thought of as a weed, but can actually be eaten in salads and is a valuable source of nectar for tiny insect species. It’s actually pretty useful in the meadow at that point where the grass starts to thin towards the yew hedge – tough as old boots.

wild flower common chickweed

Common Chickweed – does actually get fed to chickens.

11. Garlic Mustard (Alliaria Petiolata)

Occasionally mistaken for a stinging nettle, this tall and impressive plant is crowned with white cross shaped flowers and gives off a faint whiff of garlic. As with many wild flowers, it is popular for use in cooking, particularly salads. It often grows in hedgerows and along roadsides, making it easy to discover.

It’s one of the plants I intend to take out – too much green and not enough flower for something of a bully plant.

Garlic Mustard – not a stinging nettle!

12. Common Comfrey (Symphytum Officinale)

This is another flower which is often considered to be a weed, yet has some incredible properties and is one of the best early food sources for bees particularly. Its deep roots drag nutrients to the surface of the soil for other plants to utilise and it makes good nitrogen rich compost.

A friend gave me some roots of this and it’s now taking over the woodland plot. The droopy bell shaped flower heads range in colour from white and cream to pinks and purples, looking strangely almost wilted. It naturally repels slugs and once it’s flowers I can take it right back to the soil and know it will come back next year – a lovely thug.

Comfrey in pinkComfrey in white

13. Bulbous Buttercup (Ranunculus Bulbosus) 

Do you like butter – hold one of these flowers under your chin. If the golden yellow shines off your skin, then you do.

It’s found in most gardens, on road sides and along almost all footpaths and in my garden scatters itself through the grass.

norfolk uk wild flower species

14. White or Purple Dead Nettle (Lamium Album?)

THEY DO NOT STING! In fact, the dead nettle can make a tasty addition to salads. It’s super common and easy to find – often found close to real stinging nettles so take care if you are foraging. It’s easy to overlook these blooms as being ‘boring’ as they are everywhere, but close up the petals are almost orchid-like. It’s currently growing in amongst the chickweed and feeding early butterflies and bees.

white dead nettle norfolkWhite Dead Nettle purple dead nettle ukPurple Dead Nettle

15. Cowslip (Primula Veris)

A fabulous little wild flower which has many uses, from helping cure coughs, to providing citrus flavour in food and flavouring wine. Tall and bright yellow, favouring meadows and open woodland, I’m still trying to find this in my meadow after last year planting

cowslips norfolk

Cowslip, also known as Fairy Cups.

16. Lesser Celandine (Ficaria Verna)

This bright yellow member of the buttercup family starts blooming as early as December, and finishes in Apri. It’s a cheerful flower, supposedly found in damp woodlands or sprawling on shady bank sides yet absolutely happy in the driest spots of my meadow maybe because of the lack of competition from grass. With a high vitamin C content, this plant has been used for medicinal purposes in the past, and for insects it is a precious food source.

Lesser Celandine – also known as Pilewort (note in the picture a bulbous buttercup on the bottom left showing the difference in petal shape)

17. Dandelion (Taraxacum Officinale)

Prized for its flavour and long list of health benefits, it is regularly used in making salads, tea and even wine. It’s classed as a weed, and gardeners countrywide hate them with a passion. However, for the pollinators of springtime, they are essential food banks and of course children love blowing the fluffy seed heads known as ‘clocks’ to tell the time.

Bizarrely I can hardly find any dandelions in my meadow lawn.

Norfolk wild flower dandelion

Dandelion – has hundreds of uses

18. Common Daisy (Bellis Perennis) 

Unmistakable and a children’s favourite – who hasn’t made a daisy chain?! Although this tiny, hardy flower is seen throughout the year – they’re just beginning to pop up through the grass

daisy wild flower

The Common Daisy – a childhood fave

19. Wood Anemone (Anemone Nemorosa)

A sure sign that the woodland you are walking through is ancient, this flower has signalled the arrival of spring for centuries. This delicate bloom is names after Anemos, the Greek god of wind, hence their other name; Wind Flowers. The leaves smell slightly musky.

Having planted some of these around both the meadow and the wood plot, the only ones I can find are popping up in nearby flower beds (thanks to the squirrel relocation service)

April wild flowers wood anemone

Wood Anemone – also known as ‘Wind Flowers’

20. Snake’s Head Fritillary (Fritillaria Meleagris) 

Immediately identifiable and one of the most unusual wild flower species in this list, this beautiful bloom is now classed as vulnerable in the UK. So called because of the snake-like pattern on it’s petals, it has been the subject of a huge conservation effort across the country.

I deliberately planted loads of these in the meadow, including the white version to make them easier to spot. As a result they’re looking beautiful in amongst the grass and encourage people to look closer and then spot some of the smaller flowers.

Frustrating as always, the gravel path is currently chock-a-block with these.

Fritillary Norfolk Wild Flower

Snake’s Head Fritillary – now classed as a vulnerable species in the UK


As always with any activity in the great outdoors, please take care not to trample or upset the species growing nearby. Wild flowers are particularly delicate and all too often in the meadow, the prettiest flowers are the ones my husband has just squashed flat with his shoes.

Pear Chutney

Everyone seems to be handing over apples from their garden at the moment. It’s clearly past the point where they celebrated the arrival of first fruits and hit the “what do we do with them all?” stage.

As one of the early examples of late Victorian town planning, every house in my area was planted with either an apple or pear tree and such is the luck of the draw that we got the pear tree, an over large, under-fruited centennial. I’m guessing that most of the pear trees were taken out because they’ve never really been as practical, as useful as apples. Maybe we would swap it out if only it weren’t the most marvellous sight in the Spring with all of its blossom.

Given a choice of fruit tree, I’d prefer a plum tree. there are lots of good plum recipes, and who doesn’t love a good plum crumble or clafoutis.

Pears can be tricky.

But whether they’re over or under ripe, or that scarce resource, perfectly ripe (around 1 hour in a fortnight and then you can’t pick them all in time) a chutney works well with pears.

Initially I thought that this would be more of a sweet but bland chutney, the kind to pick up cheese on a cracker but in the end a heavy hand with the spices led to something else entirely. We used this as a substitute for mango chutney – a sweet chilli spice with a hint of aniseed.

Ingredients

  • 200g demerara sugar
  • 200ml cider vinegar
  • 100ml perry (pear cider)
  • 1 star anise
  • 1 tsp ground cumin
  • 2 red onions, chopped
  • 1 tsp grated ginger
  • 10 firm pears, peeled and chopped into bite-sized pieces
  • 2 red chillies, halved (and deseeded if you prefer)
  • 50g sultanas

Method

  • STEP 1Put the sugar, cider vinegar, perry, star anise, cumin, red onions and ginger in a large saucepan and bring to the boil.
  • STEP 2Add the pears and chillies and simmer for 40 mins until the liquid is syrupy and the pears are just cooked. Stir in the sultanas, remove from the heat and leave to cool, then spoon into sterilised jars.