Women Love Men

Feminists hate men. It’s such a common accusation thrown at women whether they identify as feminists or not, whenever or wherever they say or write anything vaguely critical of a man or men. It’s normally followed by a whole series of replies denying the very idea so it was thought provoking to come across a book titled “I Hate Men”

I’m a feminist : do I hate men?

I’m married to one and after decades together he remains my delight in life so clearly if I do hate men then #not all men.

But the very question leads down an entirely different rabbit hole on-line as searching “reasons women love men” leads to a very strange place aka “The Modern Man”

Men make women feel girly and feminine, which makes them happy and turns them on sexually.

No, really not true: feeling girly and “feminine” does not make me happy, and certainly does not turn me on sexually. To be honest I struggle with the idea that being made to feel childlike ie like a girl, could make anyone feel sexual unless adult-child play is your personal kink.

And if you turn it around and apply it to men ie Women make men feel more boyish and masculine, which makes them happy and turns them on then the whole thing really does seem to play into a weird parent-child schtick which again, if that’s your kink great, but otherwise “no”.

Men can be a boyfriend, husband, father or grandfather, which is something a woman cannot do

NO, though this is a bit of a weird one since it’s really just talking about gendered nouns and kicking out at any same-sex relationship structure. With a gay daughter, it seems pretty clear that two women can have an entirely functional relationship together and not feel any lack of a man. Perhaps more to the point, it strongly suggests that there is only one way to be a partner or “boyfriend, husband, father or grandfather” which is just mind-glowingly stupid. My husband is very different to my friends’ husbands, a different father to them also and no doubt will be a different grandfather. If my partner were a woman, they would be different also, but more because of who they are than what’s between their legs.

Men are proud to provide for a woman, whereas women hate that role.

Seriously no: Women provide for their families whether they have a man in their lives or not. In many ways the stereotypical “role” for women is all about offering up bits an pieces of their soul and their care.

Whether or not they involve men, relationships of all kinds are all about mutual support and providing for each other, emotionally, financially, physically.

Men are purpose driven, which matches well with love-driven women.

Almost everyone is looking for both purpose and intimacy, men and women so this is just drivel.

Men make women feel safe

Obviously no: there is nothing “safe” about a generic man for a woman when the world is full of domestic abuse and men murdering women, most especially the ones they know.

Men make women laugh

Less than you’d think. As Atwood wrote, men worry about women laughing at them whilst women worry about men killing them.

Men give a woman’s life more meaning

No: I give my own life meaning, just like everyone else in the world. We each get to decide, within the limits society imposes upon us, our relative wealth, health etc. we get to decide for ourselves what we value and what gives our lives purpose.

Men are dependable

Given the number of single-mother families in the world this just isn’t true and has never been true.

Men have created much of the technology that has brought us to this point as a human race

Even if this were true (and it isn’t since there are many documented female scientists, technicians etc) then it’s just a daft reason for anyone to love someone. The idea that she generic person somewhere in the world invented a computer (thank you Ida Lovelace) should somehow influence who I love today, is frankly bizarre.